i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
