the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
