I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize