She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
