...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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