i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
