I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
