mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
