Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
