just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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