my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
