marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
