i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
