just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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