I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize