Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
