Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
