I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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