so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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