okay pat passed out under dana's car
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
