if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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