Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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