i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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