yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
