The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I could fuck to npr.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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