you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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