you would pick up someone in the library
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
