dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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