Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i wish my penis had a tongue
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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