I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
