we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
