Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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