When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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