you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
