Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
If I die, sorry about rent.
I touched a dick in church today
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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