I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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