It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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