I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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