No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
