So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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