You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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