this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
