in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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