i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
