are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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