Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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