I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize