So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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