quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
