Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The uberlube is also flammable
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
