Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
