I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
