Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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