I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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