I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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