Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
