i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
