Say something about gay babies.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
